Inadvertently we had faced the enemy and won,
but now I wasn’t so sure about who was the enemy and who was simply other. For the past few months my life
had taken a trip down the strangest road. Things had been revealed to me that I
never thought existed, things that I had wondered about, dreamed about, but
never dared imagine to be tangible.
I
was given a purpose by a divine entity. I had been chosen just like all the books I had read about heroines being
selected for adventures filled with vampires or werewolves.
How stupid.
This
was the real world. It wasn’t filled with fantastical creatures that fought for
good or evil, it was filled with humanity who was all of these things wrapped
up into one tight bag made of flesh and bone. Humanity was disgusting and
beautiful all at the same time.
There had been moments when I would have been
happy to sacrifice myself for the greater good of Her well-being, but I had
thought that it was my own doing, my own decision to end my life and not her
grand design.
With
clear eyes I could now see that she had planned for all of her Warriors to fall
on their swords after their destinies had been fulfilled. Well I was no samurai
and I intended to keep on living.
The
boys had moved us in our dazed states to one of the houses near the well. Three
days passed by, one after the other while we recovered. I kept finding myself
in the bathroom staring at my reflection willing the darkness to subside from
my skin, but it persisted to undulate beneath the surface. Sebastian was the
same his skin swirled with matte black curves and wisps.
On the fourth
day the inky markings began to shift slower and slower, until some of them
ceased to move for hours at a time, only creeping along an arm or a cheek when
we became overly active.
Some of our
activities included raiding houses for more food, others were held in the bedroom.
Even though my body felt bruised and sore after the inner onslaught of power,
having Sebastian run his hands over my inner thighs made my nerve endings spark
and fizzle until all I felt was bliss.
Every now and
then Owen’s face would surface in my mind and I would bite the skin around my
nails until they bled. I was terribly conscious of how I had betrayed him. He
was probably with Manoel and his people waiting for me to return, thinking that
we would be together like we had when this all began.
It was because
of this that I was anxious about the plan to destroy the city. We were in prime
position to do so and if we waited a few more days we would be fully recovered
and ready to take on the task. It was true that a lot of Audrey’s power had
been spent on defeating the two Sun Soldiers, but all the excess had settled
within us on the surface of our skin. We were powerful enough to cleanse the
city on our own.
But what if
Owen had gone into the city with Manoel to find me? They would have seen that
something wasn’t right because the city was still standing. These moments of
doubt crept over me when I was alone and I desperately hoped that Sebastian wouldn’t
pick up on them. I didn’t want him to be jealous of my thoughts, of my worries
for a man who had been his rival. I dreaded the moment when he would ask me if
I was ready to begin the cleanse.
On the sixth
day Sebastian and I were lying in bed. I was stretched out over his chest and
his hand was slowly caressing my back. I could stay in this position for hours
as long as his fingertips kept trailing up and down my sensitive skin. We were
talking about our past and some of the wild things we had done while we were
growing up.
After
every conversation I had with him I marvelled at how much we were alike despite
all of our differences. We had led such different lives, but the decisions we
made and the way we viewed things were backed by the same innate qualities.
It
was an uncanny thing that I had never experienced with anyone and it made me feel
justified in loving him.
I
brushed my lips against his flat stomach and emitted a small moan of pleasure as
his fingers glided over the base of my neck. He had stopped talking and in the
silence my mind began to wander back to the same worries that had been
bothering me throughout our whole stay in this house.
At
first I didn’t notice that he had stopped scratching my back, I was so absorbed
in my thoughts, but then I felt his chest stiffen. I lifted my head off of his
torso and was faced with his brilliant jade eyes.
“So
that’s what you’ve been going crazy over?”
“I’m
not going crazy” I replied puzzled.
“This
whole time you’ve been worrying yourself sick about him” he replied. He grabbed my hand before I could protest and
showed me my raw fingers.
“You
think I don’t notice when something is wrong? I knew you were bothered by
something. Here I was thinking it was the fact that our whole lives are
uncertain, that the Mother could turn on us at any moment, but that’s not it at
all. You’re bloody worried about your ex.” He sneered at me and I felt a sharp
stabbing pain in my chest.
“Don’t
look at me like that.” I sat up and pulled my knees up to my chest in a
defensive gesture. I didn’t want his next words to hurt me. I didn’t want his
expressions to injure me. “You know that I don’t think of him romantically. You
can see that.”
“Fuck,
that’s not the point is it. If you were worried you should have told me, hiding
it from me is what’s making me question…” he trailed off, unable to find the
word he was looking for.
“Question
what? Us?”
“No,
that’s not what I meant. Question your loyalties maybe. I don’t know!” He threw
his hands up in the air in pure frustration and I flinched. He had been
questioning our relationship? God, was this even a relationship? I floundered
for something to say, anything to fill this maddening silence.
“I
don’t know what to be loyal to anymore” I began, “I can’t be blindly loyal to
the Mother after she abandoned us in the moment when we needed her most. I can’t
be loyal to Her cause anymore since now I understand that I’m not special or
apart from humanity. If I’m human then I should be loyal to mankind, but I
still hate all the things they are capable of. I still want to destroy all the
bad people in the world. That hasn’t changed one bit! The fact that I have
darkness all over my body means that I’m still capable of that and it also
means that I’m different.” I paused and waited for a response, but Sebastian
merely watched me, waiting to hear what I really meant to say.
“Before I thought that Owen and I
were suited to each other and that the only reason I was so drawn to you was
because of our shared darkness” I rushed on in case he stopped me there before
I got a chance to explain, “the destinies that we had were intertwined, but now
that’s all changed. Now I’ve spent this past week with you and it’s the most we’ve
ever been alone, the most we’ve ever talked and we just fit together, you know?
Now are destinies are connected in a more simple way, do you feel that too?”
“So
if I were to go up against an angel and lose all of this” he pointed at the
swirling mass of darkness that had lazily crept up his collar bone, “who would
you be loyal to then?”
I
stared at him in panic. He was putting me on the spot and it was completely
unfair. He had swept aside everything that I had said and reiterated his own
question.
“Bas”
I whispered. I opened my mouth again, but I didn’t know what to say. If he had
been an ordinary guy I probably never would have crossed paths with him, let
alone fallen in love with him. Now that we were here though and if he were to
lose his powers the fact that I still loved him wouldn’t change. I couldn’t say
it now though, we had only spent one week ‘together’ in that sense of the word.
You can’t say ‘I love you’ after one week for crying out loud.
“You
won’t admit it will you” he said, “if it was just me and him and we were both
normal mundane lads you would run into his arms in a heartbeat.” His voiced
dripped with venom and it cut me to the bone.
“That’s
not true!” I cried. Tears had filled my eyes and I was blinking furiously to
keep them at bay. He swiftly swung his legs over the edge of the bed and
grabbed his pants.
“No
wait, you haven’t let me explain” I lunged after him, but he side stepped my
hand. The look on his face both broke my heart and angered me. How dare he
think so little of this! The past six days had been something out of a twisted
fairy tale, but one that was real. He turned his back to me and strode towards
the door.
“You
can’t walk away from me!” I yelled. I felt my dragon uncoil itself and growl in
my veins. I waved my hand and sent out a snaking length of darkness that
wrapped itself around his waist.
“You’re
using your power on me?” he growled, “I can walk away if it fucking pleases me!”
He sliced through my darkness with a touch of his hand and I felt it lash back
at me. I fell onto my back on the bed with the force of the backlash and let
out a sob.
Tears
were streaming down my face freely now. I stared up at the white ceiling with
its intricate pattern of shadows cast by the open window. After a moment Sebastian’s
face blocked out my view.
“What
are you doing?”
“Crying”
I sobbed.
“Stop
it.”
“No.”
“Come
on love, stop it.”
“No”
I sobbed harder. How could he call me ‘love’ at a time like this? He sighed and
lay down next to me on his stomach.
“Evs…”
“Go
away.”
“I
thought you didn’t want me to leave?”
“Argh”
I moaned and covered my tear streaked face with my hands. I felt his hand close
over mine and move it away from my face. I kept my eyes closed and felt the
shift in the bed as he moved on top of me. The weight of his body felt so solid
and right that I squeezed my eyes shut tighter. I knew what he was trying to do
and I wouldn’t let him connect with me to read my thoughts. I’d be damned if I
told him I loved him now with my subconscious.
“Evelyn,
stop blocking me. Let me in.”
“Fuck
you. If you were normal you wouldn’t have this option” I groaned.
“I’m
not normal though am I?”
“No
definitely not normal” I opened one
eye and a slight smile escaped me.
“Gotcha!”
he grabbed both my palms in his and interlaced his fingers with mine.
“Bastard”
I frowned. I was waiting for the familiar twitch of the connection, but it didn’t
come. I opened my other eye and let myself float on the surface of his leafy
green irises.
“I’m
not sure if I want to find out now” he said softly. I unlinked my hands from
his and brought them up to cup his face. I could feel his sharp cheek bones on
the pads of my fingers and it was just one more thing that I loved about him.
He leaned down and our lips touched gently. I closed my eyes once more and let
my mind run wild with all the thoughts of him.
Images
of his smile, his grin, his face sleeping, the curve of his shoulders, the
touch of his hands, the way he made me feel alive.
“I
love you too” he said, his lips barely apart from mine.
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